I’m Not Fat, I’m Curvy

If Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively is considered too fat, what hope is there for the rest of us? Photo: SkinnyVsCurvy.com.

If you’re a woman, you just can’t win when it comes to your weight.

Either you’re too fat, or you’re too thin. For a few blessed moments, you might be in the sweet spot where you’re “just right,” but then people start watching to see when you’re going to gain a pound or two.

According to the gossip site SkinnyVsCurvy.com:

Blake Lively allegedly refuses to wear anything but a size zero, causing the Gossip Girl costume department to cut the tags from larger-sized samples.

Blake Lively?!!! Even she is insecure about how she looks?

Seriously, I would — well, I wouldn’t really kill anyone, but I would speak very harshly to someone if it meant I could look as good as Blake does.

If Jessica and Shenae are healthy, who says they’re too thin? Photo: SkinnyVsCurvy.com.

At the other end of the unfairness spectrum are 90210’s Jessica Stroup and Shenae Grimes, who are supposedly too thin. SkinnyVsCurvy.com reports:

“I’ve never seen Jessica or Shenae eat,” another show source tells Us. So shocking is the situation that their 90210 male costars are contemplating an intervention.

Now, Jessica and Shenae are quite thin: they really are a size zero. If they’re doing it because they feel good, and they’re healthy, then people should stop bothering them about it.

But if they’re doing it because they feel pressured to be too thin, then they are victims of the insane, male-defined standards of beauty that dominate our society.

So what do we do about it?

I admit that I’m as guilty as anyone of falling for stereotypes of what I’m supposed to look like. I read Vogue and Teen Vogue and Glamour and all the others that promote obsessive thinness. And I’m probably not going to stop reading them. But I try to keep those images in perspective.

We should stop letting others define who and what we are. They mostly define what we are, not who, because they’re treating us as things instead of as people. Nice, pretty things that brighten up a room, on which fashions drape perfectly, and which make good trophy girlfriends.

We should be true to ourselves and our own version of happiness. If we are thin and we like it, then we’ll be that. If we’re curvy and we like it, then we’ll be that.

Everyone else should go find their own version of happiness. We’ll be happy with ours.

---

Copyright 2011 by Rinth de Shadley.

Gossip Time is Over

Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen. Photo: The CW Television Network.

No, this isn’t about gossip from WikiLeaks. It’s about something almost equally important, at least to some of us: Tonight’s episode of “Gossip Girl.”

In last week’s episode, Juliet drugged and kidnapped Serena after turning all her friends and family against her.

This week, we found out that while Serena was unconscious, Juliet threw her on a bed in a cheap motel in Queens. Then she forced pills and vodka down Serena’s throat to make it look like she had tried to commit suicide. Fortunately, Serena didn’t die from the overdose. When she woke up, she called 911 for help and ended up in the hospital.

When Lily, Rufus, and the rest got to the hospital, Serena’s doctor recommended confining her to the same psychiatric clinic that had treated her brother Eric when he tried to commit suicide a few years ago. Naturally, Lily didn’t even bother to talk to Serena before agreeing. Lily really is an idiot. I’m sorry, but she is.

So off went Serena to be locked up in the crazyhouse.

Dan’s sister Jenny had helped Juliet turn everyone against Serena. However, Jenny had an attack of conscience. She told both Rufus and Blair what really happened.

Rufus, who caught a case of the stupids from Lily, naturally didn’t listen to Jenny. But Blair did. And she told Dan. They decided to go after Juliet, who had left the city and disappeared.

The time for gossip is over. Now, the agenda is revenge. Or justice. As far as Juliet is concerned, either is fine with me.

P.S. Okay, I don’t endorse revenge. It was late when I wrote that. But Juliet is pretty bad.

---

Copyright 2010 by Rinth de Shadley.

They Can’t Tell One Blonde from Another?

Tonight’s episode of “Gossip Girl” had its moments, but it got a little too mean for me.

Juliet has been trying to get revenge on Serena. Apparently it’s because she believes that her brother Ben was sent to prison for having had a relationship with Serena when he was her teacher at boarding school.

Serena, meanwhile, has had absolutely no clue why Juliet hates her so much. Which is hard to believe, if she was in a relationship with a teacher who was Juliet’s brother and who got sent to prison. Also hard to believe is that Lily, Serena’s mother, wouldn’t know anything about that having happened at Serena’s boarding school.

All right, I’ve admitted in an earlier blog that I shouldn’t over-think “Gossip Girl” storylines.

Juliet infiltrated a costume party by posing as Serena. Wearing a mask and the same dress as Serena, she kissed both Dan and Nate, trying to make them angry at Serena.

Okay. Juliet is blonde. Serena is blonde. So because she was masked, we’re supposed to believe that Dan and Nate didn’t realize they were kissing Juliet instead of Serena? Are all of us really that interchangeable? I’m not even blonde and it bugs me. And don’t even mention the fact that Serena is taller than Juliet. You can say they were fooled because Juliet was wearing Serena’s perfume, but I know from experience that guys usually can’t distinguish between perfumes.

And another thing. At the end of the episode, Juliet drugs Serena and kidnaps her. That’s too much. First, it’s way beyond the meanness scale of anything they’ve done before on “Gossip Girl.” Second, when people have done mean things before on the show, there’s been some kind of reason. Serena tends to think with her — well, not with her brain. Blair is crazy insecure sometimes. And Georgina is just plain crazy. Even Jenny, who’s the meanest regular character on the show, is mean mainly from hurt and insecurity. Juliet is just hateful. I don’t like that.

Serena’s kidnapping might be why they’ve been floating rumors that Blake Lively wants to leave the show, suggesting that maybe her character will get killed off. I don’t believe it. As airheaded as Serena has been lately — and we know she is not like that, or wasn’t until last season — it just wouldn’t be “Gossip Girl” without her.

---

Copyright 2010 by Rinth de Shadley.

 

What I’d Do for a Million Dollars

Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen. Photo: The CW/Patrick Harbron/Landov.

What would you do for money? A lot of money?

George Bernard Shaw, who was an English satirist, once asked a woman at a party if she would sleep with him for a million British pounds. When she said yes, he asked if she would do it for one pound. Angrily, she asked, “What kind of woman do you think I am?” Shaw said, “We’ve established what kind of woman you are. Now, we’re just haggling about the price.”

I’m still trying to figure out what kind of woman I am. Sometimes, I think I’d like to be the kind who

is going to win over all our teachers, wear that dress we couldn’t fit into, eat the last olive, have sex in our parents’ beds, spill Campari on our rugs, steal our brothers’ and our boyfriends’ hearts, and basically ruin our lives and piss all of us off in a major way. (Gossip Girl)

But in the meantime, anyway, here is my price list.

For a million dollars, I would

• Kiss Justin Bieber. No tongue. And no, he doesn’t get anything else, not even for another million. What is he, like 12?
• Become Chuck Bass‘s trophy wife. Though in all honesty, he can probably do better than me if he wants a trophy wife.

For a thousand dollars, I would

• Wear a Winerack bra. For another thousand, I’d let a guy drink from it.
• Dance around a stripper pole for a music video. Just dance. Nothing comes off. If Miley Cyrus shows me the moves, it’s free. Don’t read anything into that. Unless you want to.

For free, I would

• Kiss Michael Cera or Penn Badgley, or both. I would probably also [censored]. 🙂
• Kiss Rachel Maddow.
• Take a part as the new bad girl on my favorite TV show, “Gossip Girl.” Of course, SAG wouldn’t let me do it for free, but I’d be willing.

Never, for any amount of money, would I

• Kiss Rush Limbaugh.
• Trade places with Lindsay Lohan.
• Show my parents the very small tramp stamp I got last year (though they probably know about it).
• Tell my younger brother that I’m proud of him.

---

Copyright 2010 by Rinth de Shadley.

I Don’t Hate Blake Lively, but …

Blake on the cover of Vogue Magazine, June 2010.

I don’t hate Blake Lively, the star of my favorite TV show, “Gossip Girl.” Honestly, I don’t. But she gives me a raging inferiority complex.

Blake got the cover of this month’s Vogue magazine, along with an interview and a photo shoot modeling beachwear.

She says that she eats what she wants and doesn’t exercise.

Oh, please, just shoot me now.

I exercise almost every day and eat like an anorexic gerbil. The only reason I’m not bulimic is that I couldn’t get okay with the idea of making myself throw up on a regular basis. Plus it’s bad for your teeth. I’m not fat, but it’s a constant battle.

The point is, I could exercise 15 hours a day and live on nothing but celery. But I would never look as good as Blake. Never never.

Yes, I know it’s mostly genetics, along with professional makeup artists and good photography. And maybe I’ve got a few IQ points on her to compensate. Big deal: lots of guys hit on me at parties because they think I have a high IQ. Not. The one feature where I look better than Blake is, well, let’s just say that I need a very good jogging bra.

TeenVogue.com feature: Get the Eclipse Look Now.

And then there’s Teen Vogue. Yes, I know that I’m almost 21, but I still read it.

It has a slide show about all the fashions in the new Twilight movie, “Eclipse,” so you can buy them and wear them yourself. Sometimes I wonder if half the point of these movies is to sell clothes. Naturally, I’ll buy some of them, but they won’t look as good on me as they do on Kristen Stewart in the movie.

I don’t know. Maybe I should just stop reading fashion magazines and stick to Scientific American Mind. 🙂

---

Copyright 2010 by Rinth de Shadley.

Gossip Girl, Set in Small-Town Manhattan

I was explaining to a friend why I love the “Gossip Girl” TV show, and I suddenly realized something that I haven’t seen anyone else mention:

Even though it’s set in New York City, “Gossip Girl” is a small-town drama.

Think about it. In the small towns where our grandparents and some of our parents grew up, everyone knew everyone else. And everyone talked about everyone else. If someone was having a baby, hooked up with someone, broke up with someone, had a drug problem, or just bought a new dress, everyone heard about it very quickly. There are a lot of old movies and TV shows that deal with exactly that situation.

Now consider “Gossip Girl.” Gossip Girl sends hot gossip to people’s cell phones, so just like in a small town, everyone instantly knows what everyone else is doing.

In one first-season episode, for example, someone saw Serena at a drug store buying a home pregnancy test. Via Gossip Girl, everyone at school instantly knew about it and assumed that Serena was pregnant. Of course, she was actually buying the test for Blair, who she thought was pregnant but in denial. That’s the kind of drama that might have occurred in a small town 50 years ago. The only difference is that the characters on “Gossip Girl” have cell phones and the fashions are better. 🙂

---

Copyright 2009 by Rinth de Shadley.

Gossip Girl Gushing

The second-season DVD set of “Gossip Girl” will be on sale this week. This weekend, I’m re-watching my DVDs from the first season and re-discovering some things that made me a fan.

First, of course, I love Serena and identify with her. Most viewers probably do. She’s like the perfect best friend you always wanted.** Even though she’s prettier and more glamorous than you are, she doesn’t seem to know it (most of the time) or care. She makes mistakes, but she always tries to do the right thing in the end. And she encourages you whenever she gets the chance.

Second, though I tend to hate Blair and Chuck, they sometimes reveal the nicer people hidden inside them. Chuck is a pig but he’s funny and occasionally honorable. And Blair, as mean as she can be, communicates the inner pain that makes her that way. Jenny is nice, then mean, then nice again. But just like Blair, she shows the inner pain and confusion that make her that way.

Third, the actors are totally convincing in their roles.  Both Blake and Leighton are inspired. Blake makes Serena totally believable. Leighton makes Blair evil but sympathetic. Everyone else in the cast is wonderful, too.

Fourth, the dialogue is witty and realistic. Of course, my reaction is less often “I have said that” than “I wish I’d said that!”

The action can be a little unbelievable at times. In one episode, Dan crashes a masquerade ball to be with Serena, who is angry because he lied to her about his ex-girlfriend Vanessa. Just as Serena and Dan make up and kiss, Vanessa arrives and sees them. When Vanessa runs away, Dan chases after her and leaves Serena standing there alone. Hello?! In what universe does that make sense, even to a guy’s testosterone-damaged brain? And later, when Dan gets home after making up with Serena a second time, Vanessa is there waiting for him — sitting on his bed. In what universe does even Dan not see that he has to kick her out right away, even if it’s all totally innocent? Oh, well, I still enjoyed it. I suppose that if “Gossip Girl” were just like real life, then why would we watch it?

I probably wouldn’t like the Upper East Side as a permanent residence. But for an hour a week, it’s a pretty cool place to be.

Got to get those second-season DVDs! And the third-season premiere is September 14!

Yes, Gossip Girl, I do love you. xoxo!

—————————————————-
**Not better than you, Sarah. Just taller and blonder. 🙂

---

Copyright 2009 by Rinth de Shadley.