Why Atheists Love Breasts

The title of this blog isn’t a joke. I really am going to explain why atheists love breasts.

Of course, it’s also a shameless attempt to improve my blog stats by mentioning two of the hottest topics on the Web: atheism and breasts. I admit that. Sue me. My aunt is a lawyer. She’ll eat you alive. Come to think of it, I haven’t had breakfast yet and I’m kind of hungry.

But back to our topic. Breakfast can wait.

You will be happy to know that I have scientifically verified my hypothesis. I once dated a guy who claimed to be an atheist, and he really did love breasts. I’m not saying anything more about how I know he did, because I’m not writing that kind of blog. I admit that my sample size (one atheist) is kind of small, unlike my … no, I’m not going to go there. It’s not that kind of blog.

By the way, I say that the guy “claimed” to be an atheist because there’s some doubt about whether he really was one. On several occasions, I heard him cry out “Oh, God!” Never mind which occasions. It’s not that kind of blog.

Anyway, why do atheists love breasts?

Basically, it’s because breasts are material objects and atheists are all about materialism.

Atheists usually believe that nothing exists except material reality and its effects. Of course, they define material reality kind of broadly, to include things like energy. But the essence of their viewpoint is that if physical science can study it, then it’s real. Otherwise, it’s just a fairy tale that we tell ourselves because we’re afraid of dying.

Based on scientific evidence, nobody can prove that atheists are wrong. But what atheists try not to admit is that nobody can prove they are right, either. Atheism and materialism are not scientific conclusions. They are philosophical viewpoints.

It’s like the old saying that if your only tool is a hammer, then every problem looks like a nail. Atheists are impressed (as anyone should be) by the achievements of physical science. But they then leap to the conclusion, unsupported by scientific evidence, that every problem is a suitable nail for the scientific hammer. Okay, that was a pretty lame metaphor, but you get the idea.

Physical science studies physical reality. If it fails to find anything except physical reality, that fact shouldn’t surprise anyone. And it shouldn’t be taken to imply that only physical reality exists. But that is the core of the atheist argument. There are other factors, but that’s the main one.

Any thinking person has to consider the possibility that atheism is true, even though it’s an essentially negative idea: that God does not exist. But when you think a little more, you realize that science is neutral about God’s existence. And there’s plenty of other evidence from history, people’s lives, and our own personal experience to suggest that God really does exist.

What it comes down to is free choice. The evidence doesn’t force us to decide one way or the other. Based on the evidence, we can conclude that God exists or doesn’t exist. When we make our choice, it’s as much a statement about who we are and how we see the world as it is a statement about whether or not God exists.

And now, please excuse me. There’s some coffee cake in the kitchen that looks just Heavenly. I’ll have to pray for the strength not to eat two pieces instead of just one. 🙂

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Copyright 2009 by Rinth de Shadley.