Home > Beauty, fashion, feminism > I’m Not Fat, I’m Curvy

I’m Not Fat, I’m Curvy

If Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively is considered too fat, what hope is there for the rest of us? Photo: SkinnyVsCurvy.com.

If you’re a woman, you just can’t win when it comes to your weight.

Either you’re too fat, or you’re too thin. For a few blessed moments, you might be in the sweet spot where you’re “just right,” but then people start watching to see when you’re going to gain a pound or two.

According to the gossip site SkinnyVsCurvy.com:

Blake Lively allegedly refuses to wear anything but a size zero, causing the Gossip Girl costume department to cut the tags from larger-sized samples.

Blake Lively?!!! Even she is insecure about how she looks?

Seriously, I would — well, I wouldn’t really kill anyone, but I would speak very harshly to someone if it meant I could look as good as Blake does.

If Jessica and Shenae are healthy, who says they’re too thin? Photo: SkinnyVsCurvy.com.

At the other end of the unfairness spectrum are 90210’s Jessica Stroup and Shenae Grimes, who are supposedly too thin. SkinnyVsCurvy.com reports:

“I’ve never seen Jessica or Shenae eat,” another show source tells Us. So shocking is the situation that their 90210 male costars are contemplating an intervention.

Now, Jessica and Shenae are quite thin: they really are a size zero. If they’re doing it because they feel good, and they’re healthy, then people should stop bothering them about it.

But if they’re doing it because they feel pressured to be too thin, then they are victims of the insane, male-defined standards of beauty that dominate our society.

So what do we do about it?

I admit that I’m as guilty as anyone of falling for stereotypes of what I’m supposed to look like. I read Vogue and Teen Vogue and Glamour and all the others that promote obsessive thinness. And I’m probably not going to stop reading them. But I try to keep those images in perspective.

We should stop letting others define who and what we are. They mostly define what we are, not who, because they’re treating us as things instead of as people. Nice, pretty things that brighten up a room, on which fashions drape perfectly, and which make good trophy girlfriends.

We should be true to ourselves and our own version of happiness. If we are thin and we like it, then we’ll be that. If we’re curvy and we like it, then we’ll be that.

Everyone else should go find their own version of happiness. We’ll be happy with ours.


Copyright 2011 by Rinth de Shadley.

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  1. michellefrommadison
    February 8, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    Anyone that says the is likely to be overweight, imo. “Fat” might be an appropriate term for that too.

    • February 8, 2011 at 8:14 pm

      Hi Michelle —

      It seems to me that the idea of being “overweight” is defined more by stereotypes than by health and happiness. We’re not talking about anyone who is unhealthy, mostly just about how people look.

      But if you are thin and you like it, then I think that’s great! 🙂

      • michellefrommadison
        February 8, 2011 at 8:31 pm

        Hi Rinth, health and happiness have nothing to do with whether one if fat or not. Has to do with height and weight and nothing else. Fat people come up with endless reasons to justify their fat-ness and the rest of us have to pay the higher costs of health care because of their ignorance and refusal to be of appropriate weight.

  2. Rinth
    February 10, 2011 at 5:31 am

    You know why I like this post so much? It’s ’cause you share the fact that you read those magazines but at the same time understand what’s wrong and what’s right. Because humans are that way. There are those who oppose these things completely but you’re living inside it and at the same time understanding the impact it has on you and society. Really great post :)!

    • February 10, 2011 at 12:09 pm

      Hi, Rinth —

      Thank you for the kind words! You’re right about the inconsistency between how we think and how we act sometimes.

      One of my friends from school had an internship at Conde Nast and might end up working for Vogue. So at least I’ll have an excuse to keep reading it. 🙂

      • Rinth
        February 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

        Oh wow that’s cool!

  3. David
    March 15, 2011 at 10:26 am

    While I admit that I don’t ‘check out’ most fat girls, if I get to know you, it makes no difference whether you’re fat or not. I won’t dwell on it. If it’s a concern to you, I’ll offer help and prayer. What’s most important is your heart (your Biblical heart).

    • March 16, 2011 at 10:00 am

      Hi David,

      I’ll have to be careful what I write, or people will think that I really am fat instead of curvy!

      If you watch “House,” I’m pretty close to Martha M. Masters, which isn’t too surprising because Amber Tamblyn based the character on a friend of hers who is a med student. You could Photoshop my head onto Martha’s body and it would be about right. But only with Photoshop, please, not in real life. I’m very attached to my head. 🙂

      • David
        March 16, 2011 at 10:39 am

        I don’t watch it, but I do know how to Bing, and she is not fat, has nice curves. For the record, I know people who I’d classify as skinny and curvy, too.
        My point being, as always, that, while looks attract, they don’t hold someone. That’s why many Hollywood romances fall apart. It’s the inner person that keeps a relationship alive.
        Nice to ‘see’ you again, Rinth (and the other Rinth, too).

  4. April 25, 2011 at 12:04 am

    If we are thin and we like it, then we’ll be that. If we’re curvy and we like it, then we’ll be that.

    And if we are fat and we like it, then we’ll be that. 😉

    I’m fat. I like it, in as much as it’s my individual natural consequence of healthy and happy life choices.

    I mean, given a range of equally available options, I may or may not choose this external appearance. Not because I’m not at home in my body or because I don’t enjoy it just as it is, but because — all other things being equal — the constant scrutiny and not measuring up to mainstream media standards, it’s not particularly happy-making.

    But the thing is, all other things aren’t equal, at least not at an individual level. I could strive for a particular external appearance, but — for me — at the expense of losing muscle, losing energy and stamina, and losing an overall healthy relationship with food. That doesn’t serve me in the long run, so I’m better off being happy being fat. 😀

    • April 25, 2011 at 9:09 am

      Thanks for the great comment!

      You’re absolutely right. We should be what we are naturally and love ourselves for that. I’ve always wondered if the people who spend so much energy criticizing others are just very unhappy with themselves.

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