Archive

Posts Tagged ‘Guys’

Sex on the Brain

Sex is more about the brain than about anything else. Photo: Glamour.

Warning: This blog post talks about sex. It’s no more explicit than you would see in a magazine like Glamour, but if you think it would offend you, please don’t read it.

In various blog posts (and in a few drunken monologues on weekends), I’ve already admitted that:

And possibly most embarrassing of all:

  • I read Glamour, Vogue, Teen Vogue, and other magazines that are bad for my self-esteem.

But those magazines aren’t always right. Glamour has an article titled “Six Secrets About His Man Parts” that is completely misleading about what turns guys on.

I can’t read guys’ minds and I’m not the world’s foremost expert, but I think that I understand them pretty well.

The mistake that guys make about themselves — but which is more surprising in a magazine for women — is to think that sex is mainly just physical. It’s not. (The article was written by a guy, so no surprise there.)

Even for guys, sex is mostly mental. It’s his brain that you need to target, not his penis. I’m not saying “hands off,” of course: at the right time, that closes the deal. But there’s much more to it than simply making a grab for his joystick, at least if you want the situation to go well.

A lot goes in in a guy’s brain* when it comes to sex. His “old brain” (the primitive parts of the brain) just wants to find a fertile female, impregnate her, and then go find another one to do it again. But his “old brain” is pretty stupid and doesn’t know or care if you’re using contraception. It just pushes him to engage in biologically programmed behaviors that, in pre-technological settings, maximize the number of his children in the next generation.

Speaking of which, here’s a theological view of the subject. God makes Adam and then says, “I’ve got good news and bad news.” Adam says, “Give me the good news first.” God says, “I gave you a brain and a penis.” Adam says, “What’s the bad news?” And God says, “I didn’t give you enough blood to run both of them at the same time.”

However, a human male is much more than just programmed behaviors. He’s aware of himself as a person. He needs to feel powerful: it’s one of those guy things. He needs to respect himself and feel that he is important in his social hierarchy. He needs to feel that he is desired and desirable. He’s an intelligent being and he thinks (who knew? 🙂 ).

He has also had unique experiences in his life that he associates with sexual excitement. Those sometimes have nothing to do with sex itself, but they excite him just as if they had everything to do with it. They can be objects, words, ideas, or situations that are like “on buttons” in his brain. Guys are often very shy about revealing those things, but if you can guess what the buttons are, go ahead and push them.

So the real way to interest and excite a guy is to remember that sex takes place on many levels: mental, emotional, instinctive, and physical — but mostly it takes place in his brain.

Excite his emotions, make him feel powerful, push his mental “on buttons” if you know what they are. And of course don’t forget to flip the switch on his old brain: Show him something sexy or new to stimulate him visually. Hit him with a fragrance. Do all the other stuff that everyone knows about. If a guy is repressed, even biting him (not there, and not hard enough to draw blood) can help. It stimulates him physically by causing pain, but it also surprises him and breaks up his conscious control. That frees his ability to act on his desires.

I didn’t intend to get quite so explicit, but all of that is true. It won’t be a big surprise to some people, but maybe it will be helpful to others.

(Blog post #194!)

______________________

* Of course, here I’m talking about straight guys.


Copyright 2011 by Rinth de Shadley.

Advertisements

Stupid Pickup Lines

We went clubbing tonight but have an early-morning start so I’m in early.

No time to write much but I heard two amazingly stupid pickup lines tonight.

Hey, I’m not criticizing. Sometimes stupid works. If a guy is willing to make a fool of himself and risk almost certain rejection, it shows that he’s motivated.

Pickup line #1 was addressed to my friend Kris, not to me. If I posted a pic of us from tonight you would understand. When we’re out, she gets most of the attention. I’m okay with that. We aren’t usually interested in the same kinds of guys, so there’s no conflict.

Anyway, here’s the line: “You are two babes’ worth of sexy.”

Yeah, I told you it was stupid. The guy was okay though. And obviously motivated.

Pickup line #2 was a guy making a joke about how good he was in bed. At least, I think he was making a joke.

He said, “I know that I’m good in bed.” When I asked him how he knew, he said, “Because I’m always satisfied.” And then he grinned. And I laughed, it was kind of funny.

That guy wasn’t awful, either, but not worth canceling tomorrow morning’s plans.

My Top 10 Lies of 2010

This doesn’t look much like me. And that’s the truth.

I definitely do not endorse lying. But I would be lying if I said that I never did it.

The best I can say is that I don’t do it to hurt anyone. If there is such a thing as “white lies,” I claim that mine fall into that category.

Anyway, here are my top 10 lies of 2010:

1. “I’m 21.”

Before I turned 21 this year, I told that lie a few times. Of course, I would never, ever use fake ID to back it up. Never never. Honestly, hardly ever.

2. “I weigh 110.”

Yeah, right. Nobody believed that one, but they were nice and pretended to believe it.

3. “I’m a complete ditz with computers.”

Actually, I’m not. But there was a cute tech support guy at the hospital where I had my summer internship. He showed me lots of moves that I already knew about. On the computer, I mean.

4. “It’s just the right size.”

A guy I was dating asked if the passenger seat of his car was comfortable for me. Actually, it was a little small, but I know how sensitive guys can be about their cars. And if you want to read that as a metaphor for something else, feel free. 🙂

5. “I’ll be ready in two minutes.”

Make that 20 minutes. But there’s a reason. If you make a guy wait a little while (but not too long), the anticipation makes him more eager and excited.

6. “I just wear whatever is in the closet.”

Uh-uh. Not even at school, where our style of dress is very casual. I’m no Serena van der Woodsen, but I do my best to look good.

7. “It was only $50.”

My Alice + Olivia cardigan was really over $200, but it is comfortable, tres sexy, and worth every penny. And I bought it with my own money: I just didn’t want the ‘rents to bug me about it.

8. “I absolutely love basketball!”

When you’re dealing with testosterone, you have to make a few compromises. I don’t care much about basketball but I like the guy. So it’s only fair to do some things that he likes to do. Besides the obvious.

9. “I’m only going to eat a little bit of that.”

A serving of ice cream has no calories if you only eat half, so that’s what I did on Mountain Day. Half of this serving, and half of that one. It ended up being more than a little bit, but it was good!

10. “It’s my natural hair color.”

No, it’s another miracle of modern chemistry. But I’m glad you like it. 🙂


Copyright 2010 by Rinth de Shadley.

Date, study, then cook. Is that what life is?

I’m getting a late start this morning because my date last night ran long. We sat downstairs and watched DVDs for most of the evening.

I teased him that I wanted to watch “Gossip Girl,” but we ended up watching a German movie called “Run Lola Run.” It was a good compromise because it had a strong female character for me, and she was sexy enough to interest him. The movie was about a woman whose boyfriend lost $100,000 belonging to a drug dealer. She has 20 minutes to get the money somehow or the drug dealer will kill him. It was actually pretty cool, and it does last longer than 20 minutes (I won’t spoil it by telling you how). I am glad that the actress lives in Germany, because even though she must be at least 30, my date’s tongue was hanging out all through the movie. I don’t need that kind of competition. On the other hand, his tongue was still hanging out after the movie and he was full of energy, so that was a good thing.

I’m mostly studying today (Sunday) because I don’t get much time during the week between my summer job and summer school class. Tonight, it’s my turn to cook dinner for the family, so I think that I’ll make chicken and dumpling casserole (tasty but fast and easy to make) with pasta salad and buy some cookies for dessert. Yes, I do know how to make cookies, but mine aren’t as good as the ones from the bakery.


Copyright 2009 by Rinth de Shadley.