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Posts Tagged ‘Glamour Magazine’

Sex on the Brain

Sex is more about the brain than about anything else. Photo: Glamour.

Warning: This blog post talks about sex. It’s no more explicit than you would see in a magazine like Glamour, but if you think it would offend you, please don’t read it.

In various blog posts (and in a few drunken monologues on weekends), I’ve already admitted that:

And possibly most embarrassing of all:

  • I read Glamour, Vogue, Teen Vogue, and other magazines that are bad for my self-esteem.

But those magazines aren’t always right. Glamour has an article titled “Six Secrets About His Man Parts” that is completely misleading about what turns guys on.

I can’t read guys’ minds and I’m not the world’s foremost expert, but I think that I understand them pretty well.

The mistake that guys make about themselves — but which is more surprising in a magazine for women — is to think that sex is mainly just physical. It’s not. (The article was written by a guy, so no surprise there.)

Even for guys, sex is mostly mental. It’s his brain that you need to target, not his penis. I’m not saying “hands off,” of course: at the right time, that closes the deal. But there’s much more to it than simply making a grab for his joystick, at least if you want the situation to go well.

A lot goes in in a guy’s brain* when it comes to sex. His “old brain” (the primitive parts of the brain) just wants to find a fertile female, impregnate her, and then go find another one to do it again. But his “old brain” is pretty stupid and doesn’t know or care if you’re using contraception. It just pushes him to engage in biologically programmed behaviors that, in pre-technological settings, maximize the number of his children in the next generation.

Speaking of which, here’s a theological view of the subject. God makes Adam and then says, “I’ve got good news and bad news.” Adam says, “Give me the good news first.” God says, “I gave you a brain and a penis.” Adam says, “What’s the bad news?” And God says, “I didn’t give you enough blood to run both of them at the same time.”

However, a human male is much more than just programmed behaviors. He’s aware of himself as a person. He needs to feel powerful: it’s one of those guy things. He needs to respect himself and feel that he is important in his social hierarchy. He needs to feel that he is desired and desirable. He’s an intelligent being and he thinks (who knew? 🙂 ).

He has also had unique experiences in his life that he associates with sexual excitement. Those sometimes have nothing to do with sex itself, but they excite him just as if they had everything to do with it. They can be objects, words, ideas, or situations that are like “on buttons” in his brain. Guys are often very shy about revealing those things, but if you can guess what the buttons are, go ahead and push them.

So the real way to interest and excite a guy is to remember that sex takes place on many levels: mental, emotional, instinctive, and physical — but mostly it takes place in his brain.

Excite his emotions, make him feel powerful, push his mental “on buttons” if you know what they are. And of course don’t forget to flip the switch on his old brain: Show him something sexy or new to stimulate him visually. Hit him with a fragrance. Do all the other stuff that everyone knows about. If a guy is repressed, even biting him (not there, and not hard enough to draw blood) can help. It stimulates him physically by causing pain, but it also surprises him and breaks up his conscious control. That frees his ability to act on his desires.

I didn’t intend to get quite so explicit, but all of that is true. It won’t be a big surprise to some people, but maybe it will be helpful to others.

(Blog post #194!)

______________________

* Of course, here I’m talking about straight guys.


Copyright 2011 by Rinth de Shadley.

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Dressing 10 Pounds Thinner

I’ve already admitted that I gained a little weight last semester. Not whale-scale, and not even hippopotamus-hips, but enough that some of my clothes are a little tight. And not just where they should be. 🙂

So what to do?

Diet is one thing, and I’m doing it. But until that works, Glamour Magazine has the solution: “How to Dress 10 Pounds Thinner.”

Let’s see if I can do at least a few of the things they suggest.

Match everything you wear

Pants or skirt, stockings and shoes. “You’ll seem 10 pounds lighter if they’re all black!”

Check. I’ve even got the all-black wardrobe from my obligatory goth fashion obsession a while back.

Accentuate your smallest part

Don’t wear full and round shapes around your full and round shapes. “Always accentuate your smallest part by pairing your more generously cut pieces with a snugger mate.”

My smallest part? Uhh … my feet? 🙂

Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to work. I’m pretty much mostly full and round shapes, especially at the moment.

Wear a tapered jacket

I’m not so sure about this one. I have a tapered jacket something like the one in Glamour’s photo, and it makes me look fat. Maybe it’s because I’m not a model who’s already thin enough that she doesn’t need to look 10 pounds thinner. 🙂

Choose shapely skirts

OK, at least now I feel better. Glamour is one of the magazines that is using some more normal-sized models. Just looking at the photo of this one made me feel thinner. I hope that didn’t sound snarky about the model. The camera adds 10 pounds anyway.

Hmmm. I’m kind of hungry, too … no, I’ll be good.  Anyway, I need to do some reading. Ttfn!


Copyright 2010 by Rinth de Shadley.

Can I wear a neon mini to my calculus final?

Just a short blog today. Sarah and I spent four hours yesterday picking out clothes and accessories on the shopping spree that Mom gave me for my birthday. I got a lot of practical things for going to class. I also went a little crazy with a neon mini and matching clutch. But my summer-school calculus final exam is this week, so I have to study. In a minute, anyway.

Glamour Magazine had a couple of quizzes that looked easier than my impending calculus test:

10 Things He’s Thinking When You’re Naked

Wait, I’m pretty sure I know this one. It starts with an “S,” right? Um … Sesquicentennial? Serendipity? Shackle? Oops, I definitely do not want to go there! As for the other nine things, they are pretty funny.

9 Things to Know About His Man Parts

Ah-ha. Probably not the same things we learned in middle school, at least not in class. There are a couple of “euuuw” moments, but it’s also pretty funny.

Calculus beckons, like a psychologically dysfunctional and rather geeky lover. I’m going to get up close and personal with Lagrange multipliers. Be gentle with me.

ttfn!


Copyright 2009 by Rinth de Shadley.